The starting point of my travels was influenced by an invitation to this seminar:
On that Friday afternoon, I step out of the tram. While it was slowing down to a stop, I could catch a glimpse of Eric. He is one of the 8 other adventurers who will spend the weekend with me. I get to know a very inspiring man over a cup of coffee near the train station of Bordeaux. His story has similarities to mine: how he was working a white collar job, how he felt there was more to life, how he overcame the fear of change, how his life is expanding and exploding. We share a beautiful moment together.
Later that day, I arrive at our exploration space: a luxurious house with alpacas – Balthazar and Jazz – in the garden! And I reconnect with Silba and Marc after haven’t seen them for many months.
Diving deep
During the weekend, our two facilitators guide us through an inner exploration and questioning of ourselves. We focus on our masks and veils we wear day by day, parts of us we exhibit in specific situations, behaviours we use in order to feel accepted and safe.
We all know the smiling “I’m fine!“-mask we often wear when someone asks us how we are doing when we are having a bad day. We wouldn’t want to show the “Actually, I’m a mess because life is hard on me right now.“-one. In that case, the mask helps us to avoid an awkward discussion with a co-worker or maybe it is a strategy we use to look away from our problems.
Masks can serve us and that is why we use them, usually in an subconscious way. However, at the same time, they can limit us. We humans are wired for connection and belonging, one of our most basic needs. Feeling seen is the root of that human connection. And we can’t be truly seen if we are hiding our face behind something. The key is to be able to decide consciously when to wear which mask and with time, stop using masks to hide our true self and our vulnerability.
For my part, I have my well worn masks of the pilot, the friend, the brother, the perfectionist, the curious, the problem-solver. During the weekend I get in deeper touch with new ones like the musician, the traveler, the blogger and the conscious. I explore as well my relationship with the soft, the vulnerable, the listener, the shameful. Finally, I realise that I struggle with making space for the self-confident and still very rarely enable the angry.
Resurfacing
After three intense days, I get to embrace more of who I am, learn to be more compassionate to the parts of me that I judge and finally, learn to love myself more. I now want to give myself the permission to feel anger and let it flow in a mindful way as well as to stop hiding my vulnerability behind perfectionism.
